7 Ways Dads Can Support Their Partner in Labor

Dads are important!

By Celeste Pegues-Rios

Childbirth is transformational!

When your partner becomes pregnant, there is a lot of attention and emphasis on mom and baby, their health, emotional needs, and care. Although this is important, I want to remind fathers that you play a major role during pregnancy, labor and delivery that can truly transform your partner's experience. So many things are happening during labor and your unwavering presence, support and attention can mean the world to your partner. I want to also add that, like the birth person, you will also be completely transformed during this process! Childbirth is the portal to parenthood that both of you are taking, and when leaning into openness, love and care can deepen your love for yourself and each other and totality of your familial structure.

So how can fathers help their partners during labor? Being there and following their lead! Trust your partner's body and your unborn baby's ability to give birth and be born!

Important Conversations Prior to Birth

 Between finding out your partner is pregnant and the moment she goes into labor, there are several conversations that can be had between the two of you to prepare for how you can support her in labor.

These conversations can include:

• Should you hire a doula?

• Who will be in the labor room? Do you prefer guests to wait until after the baby is born to come by? Or is your partner okay with guests in the room?

• How does your partner behave under stress? What non-verbal cues does your partner express when they are stressed, afraid, or overwhelmed?

7 ways dads can support their partner in labor

Take a Childbirth Education Class

Childbirth education classes can support both you and your partner by feeling confident, well informed, and prepared for childbirth. In these classes, families are led by a certified birth worker in tackling the tough questions, expanding your skill set as a support person, and reframe any bias, myths you may have around childbirth to uncover your families' values around this life-changing experience. Denver Childbirth education classes can be found at Families Forward Resource Center. 

Hold Her Hand and Physical Touch

Oxytocin is the love hormone that progresses labor and brings baby into your arms. Offering touch in hand holding, cuddling, hugs and massage, is a great way to help signal to the birthing person that they are loved, held and supported. Some people do not want to touch, and that is okay, always follow your partner's lead and respect their boundaries.

Practice Breathing and Coping Techniques

If you hired a doula or attended a childbirth education class, you most likely were taught breathing and coping techniques that can aid your partner through the intensity of labor. When your partner is in the middle of a contraction, they may not remember what they were taught; this is where you come in! Embodying the relaxation and breathing techniques will jog your partner's memory and guide them towards mirroring your actions and applying the techniques in the moment.

Words of Affirmation

Speaking words of kindness and encouragement can be very helpful! Remind her that she is strong and capable. If things are going differently in the labor room than expected, remind her that you and her team are fully supportive of her decisions.

Help Her Stay Calm

Making sure her basic needs are met and that the environment is calm and supportive. This could be turning down lights, diffusing essential oils, or playing music. Also asking her what she needs and providing that can help her stay calm as it signals to her that her needs are being met.

Be Her Advocate

When you notice she is feeling overwhelmed or unplanned interventions are being suggested by the care providers, you can step in and use your B.R.A.I.N, which means asking the care providers what the Benefits are, the Risk, Alternatives, and what would happen if you say No to the intervention. This will allow you and your partner to use your intuition to make the best-informed choices.

Remember Yourself

You will also need care and support during labor! Ask yourself what you need to stay calm, grounded and relaxed and communicate that with your birth team!